Life has a funny way of mirroring your thoughts. Just a month ago, I was working on an article about navigating adult friendships at work. The same evening, my phone buzzed, and my friend and I scrambled to find a common hour in our cluttered calendars. I laughed about the irony, as this was the very topic I was wrestling with in the morning. A week later, I stumbled into an unexpected conversation with a newfound friend. Our conversation effortlessly flowed into the very subject. We talked for hours, dissecting the art of life as it grows. The next weekend, I needed to schedule a call with my overseas friend who has two kids, so we could catch up. Today, I had a conversation with a woman for the first time and somehow she helped me unpack something on my mind. It was then I realized – this article was demanding to be written, even though everyone knows about it.
As a woman in my late 20s and newly married, I can only speak from my experiences so far. One of the hardest lessons to grasp is that some friendships are just temporary. While we gain new ones, sadly, we also lose others along the way. Some friends are meant to be anchors for a wonderful season, not for life. And that is okay! (I'm saying this to myself, of course, not to you.)
I vividly recall my teenage Facebook status declaring "FrNdZ 4Eva!!" embellished with misspelled abbreviations and quirky capitalization. Looking back, I'm almost grateful Facebook keeps those memories readily available. Fifteen years have flown by, and so much has changed. Careers, families, health, traumas, and responsibilities often take priority, pushing friendships to the back burner. My idea of friendship has ebbed and flowed as I’ve grown older, and I'm positive, it has for you too.
With no school or activities necessarily binding us together anymore and the onset of remote work isolating many, it’s become challenging to maintain old friendships sometimes, let alone start new ones. But the truth is, we need people in our lives, especially as we take on more solitary roles and responsibilities.
The effort and bonding capacity to nurture new friendships and reconnect with old ones, though difficult, pays off exponentially in laughter, support, and understanding. Speaking of understanding, how can I forget my female friendships?
Ah, female friendships! They are funny, fervent, and fierce. I like to think of them as the perfect pair of jeans: comfortable, reliable, and uniquely personal. Forget traditional languages – they speak in a dialect of sharing glances and expressions and have mastered the art of understanding that a single "hmm" or "I'm fine" can convey volumes.
Great female friends are each other's cheerleaders, shoulders to cry on, and personal hype squads. Sharing clothes and bathroom makeup sessions become bonding rituals. But the question is: how deep does this connection go?
Regardless of gender, I have recently pondered that it is never too late to be mindful of who forms your inner circle, witnesses your vulnerability, offers constructive criticism, builds you up with love, and guides you back on track. Those friendships are needed which help us see more of God, give us a sense of belonging, and make it easier for us when times are tough. The ones that share our burdens, pray for us when we can't, and break through the roof when needed.
None of this is news, just a reminder (more for me, if not for you)!
Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash
